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Jokes page

0 - 20

Name: kyle
Location: westbury
Joke: what do you call a sheep with no legs? a wooly jumper.

Name: betsy
Location: nuneaton
Joke: what do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?? A woolly jumper

Name: jj
Location: bt
Joke: what is brown and sticky? Glue!

Name: Niclas
Location: Germany
Joke: How do you get an elephant into the fridge? Open door, put elephant in, close door. How do you get a giraffe into the fridge? Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Name: Tasha
Location: UK
Joke: What animal needs oiling? A mouse - because it always squeaks!

Name: Gill
Location: Bristol
Joke: How do bees brush their hair? With a honeycomb!

Name: Emma
Location: UK
Joke: What is brown and has a trunk? A mouse returning from holiday!

Name: Clayton
Location: Toronto
Joke: Doctor, I am feeling so weird today, can you help me? Yes sir, because this is a restaurant!

Name: Ellen
Location: London
Joke: Two muffins were baking in an oven, one says, 'Boy, it's hot in here!' The other one says, 'Ahh! A talking muffin!'

Name: Yasmin
Location: Shetland
Joke: What is the hardest key to turn? A donkey!

Name: Holly
Location: Scotland
Joke: Why did the banana go to the doctors? He was not peeling well!

Name: Joe and Matt
Location: Birmingham
Joke: Who looks like half a monster? The other half!

Name: Samuel
Location: Birmingham
Joke: What do you call a man with no knees? Tony!

Name: Joe
Location: Birmingham
Joke: Why do gorillas have such big nostrils? Because they have big fingers!

Name: James
Location: Faringdon
Joke: Doctor, doctor. I'm obsessed with cutting wood! Are you feeling saw?

Name: KT and Abi
Location: Bristol
Joke: Why couldn't the two elephants go swimming? Because they only had one pair of trunks!

Name: Jenny
Location: Bristol
Joke: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pig! Well, here's some oinkment!!

Name: Talula
Location: Bristol
Joke: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? There are footprints in the butter!

Name: Becky
Location: Stockport
Joke: Why did the toilet roll jump off a mountain? It wanted to get to the bottom!

20 +

Name: Caza
Location: IT club
Joke: What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra!!

Name: Reese
Location: IT club
Joke: What do you call a fairy who hasn't had a bath? Stinkerbell!

Name: Abi
Location: Longwell Green
Joke: Why did the man take a pencil to bed? So he could draw the curtains!

Name: Mimlo
Location: Harby
Joke: Why did the mouse cross the road?To get his pension! Did you get it? Neither did the mouse!!!

Name: Elle
Location: Edinburgh
Joke: Why do bees hum? Because they forget the words!

Name: Harriet
Location: Bath
Joke: How do you make a venetian blind? Poke him in the eye!

Name: Phoebe
Location: Bath
Joke: Why did the golfer take two pairs of trousers with him? In case he got a hole in one!

Name: Charlotte
Location: Chesterfield
Joke: Why are cows such bad dancers? Because they have two left feet!

Name: Victoria
Location: Edinburgh
Joke: What does a TV eat his breakfast on? On a satellite dish!

Name: Lauren
Location: Edinburgh
Joke: Why do mother kangaroos hate rain? Because the kids have to play inside!

Name: Zelda
Location: Hyrule
Joke: What is a sheep's favourite time of day? Baaaaath time!

Name: Adam
Location: Nottingham
Joke: In the North Sea there was a squid who had a bad cold. A shark came along and the squid started to worry. But the shark offered to take the unwell squid to warmer seas. So they swam along for awhile, but then came a bigger shark. The squid thought they were both going to be eaten. But no. . . when they got closer, the small shark shouted over to the big shark, 'here you go, here's the sick squid I owed you!'

Name: Jemma
Location: Bucks
Joke: What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor!

Name: Caz
Location: NY
Joke: A man went up to two crisps and said, 'would you like a lift?' They replied, 'No thanks, we're Walkers!'

Name: Danny
Location: Stockport
Joke: What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine!

Name: Sally
Location: Stockport
Joke: What has six legs, is green all over and could kill if it fell on you? A snooker table!

Name: Rob
Location: Stockport
Joke: Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? To the Baaa Baaars!

Name: Sally
Location: Stockport
Joke: What's black and white and read all over? A zebra with sunburn!

Name: Rebecca
Location: Aldbourne
Joke: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it had no body to go with!

Name: Ryan and Gene
Location: Basingstoke
Joke: Two tomatoes are out for a walk. One is lagging behind, so the other one shouts, 'KETCHUP!'

40 +

Name: Reece
Location: Basingstoke
Joke: What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day? Turns over a new leaf!

Name: Aleesha
Location: Stockport
Joke: What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

Name: Farhanar Amir, Emily Barker
Location: Tilford
Joke: Why do drivers go to hairdressers? Because hair dressers know all the short-cuts!

Name: Joey
Location: Pixieland
Joke: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? To eat the chicken on the other side!

Name: Paige Muna
Location: Leicester
Joke: What do you call the king of hankies? The Hanky Chief!

Name: Rhiana
Location: Bournemouth
Joke: Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots.

Name: Anouska
Location: Bournemouth
Joke: Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pig.How long have you been feeling like this? About a weeeeeeeeek!

Name: Petula
Location: Preston
Joke: Where do cows go to dance? A DISCOW!

Name: Hannah
Location: Bournemouth
Joke: There was a man who found a chicken. So he went to a policeman and said, "what shall i do with it?" "Take it to a farm!" Later on the policeman saw the man with the chicken and said "I thought I told you to take him to the farm!" "I did and now we are going out to the cinema!"

Name: Toby
Location: Exeter
Joke: How do you amuse Tazo the goat for hours and hours? Get a peice of paper and write "please turn over" on each side

Name: Lottie
Location: Bournemouth
Joke: Why did Beeko cross the road? To show Gold how it's done

Name: David
Location: London
Joke: What do cows eat for breakfast? Moosli!

Name: Jude
Location: Sedgeford
Joke: Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chickens foot!

Name: Isabel
Location: Newcastle
Joke: Knock knock Whos there? Amos Amos who? A mosquito just bit me....Knock Knock Whos there? Andy Andy who? And he bit me again!

Name: Jenny
Location: Longwell Green
Joke: Boy: Do you want to pat my dog? Friend: I dont know. He looks a bit fierce. Does he bite? Boy: Well, thats what I was trying to find out!

Name: Dan
Location: Bristol
Joke: What happens if you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? You get hot cross bunnies!

Name: Yasmin
Location: Bristol
Joke: Whats a cows favourite star system? The MILKY WAY!

Name: CHKW
Location: Bristol
Joke: Whats green and fluffy? A sheep with a green sweater on!

Name: Scott
Location: St Neots
Joke: What has 6 legs, 3 ears, 4 tusks and 2 trunks? An elephant with spare parts!

Name: George
Location: Bath
Joke: Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? Because she wanted to stretch her legs!

60 +

Name: Aimee
Location: Southampton
Joke: What do you call a rhino without a horn? Quiet!

Name: Sanjit
Location: Hull
Joke: What did the bored cow say when he got up in the morning? Oh, just an udder day!

Name: Rebekah
Location: Ottery St Mary
Joke: How does a farmer know how many cows he has? Using a cowculator

Name: Mike
Location: Birmingham
Joke: Where to cows go to watch films? To the mooo-vies!

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